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as it stands right now i can go out tonight. in reality, i will most likely end up at a coffeehouse listening to bad folk music, smoking too much, & just being grumpy. i will go home & pretend to read a book for a bit & then try to sleep. can you tell i�m in a bad mood? does it show? i feel like the passion is drained from my life. feel like i�m just going through the motions without actually feeling anything except tired & sad. i want paintings in my life again. I want performance art that, even when it is bad, is full of risk & excitement. i want bands that really believe what they are singing & show it. i want raw poetry that makes me think. i want to not feel guilty for feeling sad sometimes. i want to believe in people again. i want to be hugged without having to ask. i want a coffee that i get to drink without interruption. i want to sing along & not be made to feel like i�ve done something wrong. i want to be able to be imperfect without apology. i want my heart to be touched so that i can know i still have one. i want to know that it will be ok one day. is that too much to ask? ---------------------------- ------------------ |
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