2002-05-24 - 3:14 p.m. -




it�s the weekend. weee.
(he says only slightly sarcastically)

as it stands right now i can go out tonight.
i�m thinking a long drive with some very loud & angry music. (perhaps TheThe �Dusk�). toying with the thought of going to the ocean. i like the idea of listening to waves tonight.

in reality, i will most likely end up at a coffeehouse listening to bad folk music, smoking too much, & just being grumpy. i will go home & pretend to read a book for a bit & then try to sleep.

can you tell i�m in a bad mood? does it show?

i feel like the passion is drained from my life. feel like i�m just going through the motions without actually feeling anything except tired & sad. i want paintings in my life again. I want performance art that, even when it is bad, is full of risk & excitement. i want bands that really believe what they are singing & show it. i want raw poetry that makes me think. i want to not feel guilty for feeling sad sometimes. i want to believe in people again. i want to be hugged without having to ask. i want a coffee that i get to drink without interruption. i want to sing along & not be made to feel like i�ve done something wrong. i want to be able to be imperfect without apology. i want my heart to be touched so that i can know i still have one.

i want to know that it will be ok one day.
that�s all.

is that too much to ask?

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Today�s Stats
Coffee Count: 6 mugs
Cigarettes: 7
Candy: some cinnamon mints
Now Playing: none
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�Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once.�
-Billie Joe