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2003-10-08 - 11:26 p.m. -
the air this morning reminded me of the coast.
the feel of waking near the ocean. the smell of damp air & salt & moist earth reminding me that i am part of the earth. there is a connectedness that makes me feel whole.
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when i was a kid, my folks would take us camping at the same state park all the time� sometimes 8 times a year. we would hook the homemade blue plywood trailer to the back of the car, pack the camping gear & bikes, & head down to long island sound. the park was a cheep vacation for a family that could hardly afford vacations & close enough that we could go there for just a weekend & still be able to enjoy most of it. the park itself was a no-frills place with camping sites, lots of woods, salt marshes, rock cliffs, bike paths, & a mile of beach. it was a place where i could just take off & wander by myself for hours. a place where, as long as i was back for dinner, i could be on my own. i would spend the whole day just wandering around, walking through the woods, wandering the marshes, sitting on the rocks by the ocean, exploring the world around me. i learned simple things that somehow shaped who i am. discovering sea-glass for the first time, seeing deer close enough to make eye contact, watching egrets wander the sea grass as blue crabs skittle across the marsh bed. i learned to watch the changes as the tides rose & fell� i learned to feel part of the world.
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there were many times when i was growing up that i wished that i were alone. i longed for a quiet space where i could just be. i wanted a place where there was no conflict, no yelling, no crying, no guilt, no hurt. i found it when i was alone & i loved those trips to the coast because i could live in that space for days at a time. it was a great comfort growing up knowing that a place existed that i felt safe & whole in.
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my heart
is full of salt water & sea-glass.
in my dreams
i am surrounded by marshland
napping egrets
sturdy pines & oaks.
in my dreams
i taste salt on my lips
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more tomorrow.
hope you all have a good night. be well.
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