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2001-12-26 - 1:35 p.m. -
i�m so glad christmas is over.
seemed a lot harder this year.
i�m not a big holiday person to begin with,
but this year really kicked my ass.
i just wanted it to be over.
i just want to hide next year.
go to an island somewhere warm.
spend x-mass on a warm beach watching the sun rise.
the feel of clear blue waters in my skin. yeah, like that�ll happen any time soon. there was a big get-together at my house last night.
i do the same thing every year.
invite a bunch of friends over, have food,
munchies, and silliness. it�s a good excuse
to get away from the family & spend time with friends.
but this year felt like too much.
i think a lot of that had to do with
having my son running around. it was next to imposable
to get him to go to bed last night.
he got way too many gifts, had too much junk food,
& was over-stimulated to the nth degree.
add to that 30+ people in a small apartment & a few
people having a bit too much to drink (including my wife)
& all my buttons are primed to be pushed.
it�s hard because everyone else seemed to
have a good time & i hate to be a downer.
i don�t want to be a wet blanket but i find
it real hard to be chipper when i�m not in a good mood.
the worst part is my mood affects my body
& i woke up today feeling like shit.
happy happy joy joy.
-------------- -------------- my birthday is in two days & i know that
has a lot to do with how i�m feeling right now.
i feel a lot older than i am.
there are days (like today) when i wake up
& feel like i�m in my 60s instead of my 30s.
i feel every ache & pain. feel the years in my bones.
i�m too young to feel this damn old.
i can tell you every bone i�ve broken by
where i�m sore. every dislocated joint,
every scar. it sucks. i don�t want to be an old man.
now i sound like an old man. oi!
----------------- ------------- bitch & moan. bitch & moan. blah blah blah
i need to just get over my bad self & suck it up.
i�m beginning to sound like everyone who pisses me off.
i think i�m going to leave work early,
go home & take a nap. i�ll try to be more chipper tomorrow.
-------------- ------------ Today�s Stats
Coffee Count: 6 mugs
Cigarettes: 5
Candy: 3 x-mass mints
Now Playing: Me First & The Gimme Gimmes �Blow in the Wind�
-------------- ------------- �Against stupidity the very gods
Themselves contend in vain.�
-Friedrich Von Schiller
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