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2001-12-27 - 2:33 p.m. -
post-chrsitmas, pre-birthday blahs roll on�
another day, another headache.
all i want to do is sleep.
but that don�t pay the bills. on the plus side..
a woman i work with gave me a �Wild Things� action figure.
it�s Moishe, one of the wild things (the one with the striped shirt)
very cool. very me. i like it.
something to make me smile. �And now, cried Max, Let the wild rumpus start!�
---------- ------------------ looking forward to my features this weekend.
i need that release that i get on stage
it is the one time i feel truly alive.
the one time i don�t feel sad. there is something about connecting with an audience
that makes the rest of the world just fade away.
i live for those moments.
-------------------- ------------------- below is something i got in the email.
if you try any of them please let me know what happens.
------------------------------- --------------------- Fun stuff to do at Walmart while your spouse is taking his or her sweet time: 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,"Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in only if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from "Mission Impossible."
11. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
12. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again."
and last but not least, 14. Go into a fitting room and yell loudly, "Hey! We're out of toilet paper in here.
----------------- ------------------ Today�s Stats
Coffee Count: 5 mugs
Cigarettes: 6
Candy: way too many x-mass cookies
Now Playing: Radio 2UE in Sydney, Australia
------------------ ----------------- �Human beings can always be counted on to
assert with vigor their God-given right
to be stupid.�
-Dean Koontz
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