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very long weekend. too much emotional stuff going on. domestic bliss is very elusive & there are times i�m just too tired to search for it. i�m not one for �processing� but i�m also not a doormat & right now i�m stuck between the two. i feel like i�m walking on hot coals. if i keep moving & don�t look down or ask any questions i�ll be fine, if i stop to see what is happening i�ll burn myself or just burst into flames. i am very tired. can feel my new ulcer moving in. i want to be a new-age kinda guy but there are times i have a very short fuse. sometimes balance is hard to find. there is a big article on me in the paper today & the people i most want to be happy about it could care less. there are times I feel like everything i do will still not be enough for people. i am remembered only for my mistakes, never for what i get right. i once told an ex of mine not to tell me when i do something �wrong�, just to tell me when i get it right by her. figured she could save a lot of breath that way. she was not amused. neither was i. i have given myself a challenge of writing at least 7 poems based on ideas from the people at the sunday reading. i told them that i would have a new chapbook based on them for this sunday. 7 poems in 7 days. sometimes it takes extreme measures to hold things together. here is the first poem. more rambling tomorrow. after the flood try to forget Before. after the flood after the flood at this point after the flood after the flood but nothing ever is. -------------- --------- ----------- ---------- -------- --- |
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