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2002-07-10 - 3:33 p.m. -
better day today.
still shaky but better. emotional roller coasters leave me weak & drained. i hate conflict. i just want a simple life, but life is never simple. such is the balance.
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�The television tells us love can make a mute man speak or make a closed man walk outside, but time sheds it�s light on all that I wanted to hide.�
-Peter Mulvey balance is all i ever asked for.
to not be standing on the slant my whole life.
to feel terra ferma beneath my feet. all i ever wanted from the world
was a warm flat rock to stand on.
sun in my face
& a moon i could hold to my breast. there are countless stars in the heavens
warmth becomes light
when passed through the vacuum of space
Sol sings of blue-green orbs
humming in the void our orbit slants in space
where up & down have no meaning
lie on my back & count the stars
feel the movement beneath me
we are spinning into space
another lullaby in the void
another song calling us to sleep. --------------- --------------------- ----------------
quiet night tonight
baby duty & coffee. alone again i often find myself alone. i wonder if that is why i am uneasy most of the time� the fear of being alone with myself. there is a lot inside me that i just don�t want to deal with. when i�m alone there is nothing to keep those things at bay. writing is it process of getting close to those things i fear. i wonder if i�m going off the deep end.
wonder if this is just verbal masturbation or some kind of self-centered navel gazing. wonder if i just need to get over myself & get moving again. wonder if i�m the only one who feels this way.
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Today�s Stats
Coffee Count: 6 mugs
Cigarettes: 9
Candy: lots of Smints
Now Playing: Peter Mulvey �Rain�
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below are the dying words of famous people� �Don�t let it end this way. Tell them I said something.�
-Francisco �Pancho� Villa �I am about to- or I am going to- die; either expression is used.�
-Dominique Bouhours �Moose, Indian.�
-Henry David Thoreau �I�ve had 18 straight whiskeys. I think that�s the record.�
-Dylan Thomas �Hold me up; I want to shit.�
-Walt Whitman �Friends, applaud. The comedy is over.�
-Ludwig van Beethoven �Last words are for fools who haven�t said enough.�
-Karl Marx
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