rough night last night.
fell into the downward spin of loneliness, sadness, worry, self-analysis, & managed to get myself into a crappy mood by the time i went to bed. started two paintings but have no real idea where they are going, just vague images. watched the election results until i started yelling at the TV in frustration. slept on & off all night. dreamed of all the things i need to get done & woke up more tired then when i went to bed.
can you tell i�m in a bad mood today?
still wondering where the excitement went. wondering when the spark inside me went out. i�m feeling alone today & the weather is not helping my mood. the shorter days are starting to screw with my mind. i love the night, but i need the sun too. by the time i get home from work it is dark outside. i already miss the warm summer nights.
i get like this every year. longing for spring & the season of rebirth. at this point in the fall, i know that it is only going to get colder & darker outside. the winter is yet to come & i fear the long march to warmer days. once winter is in full swing i start to feel better, knowing that the thaw is just a few weeks away. the days start to get longer & you can smell warmth in the air. each snowstorm that comes could be the last of the season & the warm days could just be the start of even more. late winter/early spring is where my faith & hope live. they are snowbirds to my frozen tundra, leaving me when the days grow cold, returning with the warmth, helping me to thaw.
quiet night of painting ahead. i�ll try to bring that thaw to the canvas tonight, try not to think too much. be warm & be well.
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Which NME 'Top 50 Cool List' Musician would you pick a fight with?
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Today�s Stats
Coffee Count: 6 mugs
Cigarettes: 9
Candy: some M&Ms
Now Playing: Gregorian Chants
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� No pirates in the fire station.�
-Liberty MacMillan
