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the first is a pure form of frustration. when you are stuck with an outcome that displeases you & nothing you can do will change it. the feeling of helplessness that comes from being in the position knowing that there is nothing to be done but wanting to do SOMETHING. a rational person will have these feelings, then figure out how to make the best of the situation, act upon that, & move on� leaving the frustration behind as nothing more than a temporary detour in the path to happiness. the second is much more rooted in human fallibility. we are imperfect beings &, therefore, are subject to doing things that make no practical sense. we know when things need to be done or know when things should not be done, yet insist on heading down the wrong path anyway. AA meetings, health clubs & battered women support groups are full of people who did this for years (& in some cases are still doing it). it is knowing that the big pit exists, knowing that you can walk around it, & falling in anyway. many times it is nothing more that force of habit. a knee-jerk response & we don�t realize we are making the same mistakes until we have started making them again. then we are often too ____ (afraid, lazy, unsure, tired, distracted, etc.) to stop the process from repeating itself all over again. so we make the mistakes again, then become frustrated with our inability to do what we should have done in the first place. more often than not, it takes a major event to shake us out of our mobius strip of failure & frustration. the abused woman leaves only after she ends up in the hospital. the addict stops after the overdose. the reckless driver changes after the bad accident. the over-achiever slows down after the heart attack. we are water spiraling down the drain, waiting for the unseen hand of fate to put the stopper in & halt our disappearance. the big question on all of this is why do we have to wait for an outside influence to stop our frustrating cycles? why does it have to take a life-change event to change our lives? why do we have to come close to death before we start to live? i think we forget just how short & fragile our existence is. we take for granted that the sun will come up for us tomorrow. think that there will always be time to change. think that there will always be time to enjoy things later. think that the grass is greener over there & we are never grateful for the moment we have until we open our eyes, look around, & realize that we are alone & the moment is gone� never to return. we forget that the journey IS the destination. take what life has handed you & make the most of it. enjoy the hard work, the setbacks, the tears� accept them as the growing pains of a soul maturing. let the bad days be a time of gratitude for the things that are not bad. let those around you know that you are glad that they exist, for one day they won�t be there to tell. live a life of love, even when love is hard. love yourself so that you can love others. believe in the wonder that is now. i�ll sit down now. |
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