And if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat
humans need contact.
not just being around one another, but real physical contact. we have a need for touch, a need to connect with one another on more than just a verbal & visual level. there is something more that happens when skin comes in contact with skin that cannot be achieved simply through words.
now, many of you are thinking, �um� duh. we know this�, but do you? many of the diaries i have read over the past few weeks have made some mention of craving contact. once again, we seem to be picking up on one another�s thoughts & the topic of touch is one that keeps popping up. it would seem a simple thing to fix� get everyone together who is feeling this way & help one another. but we are scattered to the winds, too distant to reach one another.
there is also the issue of touch & context.
start talking about the need to touch & be touched & people�s minds quickly place it in a sexual context� reduce it to a primal urge & then quickly dismiss it out of hand. the hard part is, it is a primal urge &, sometimes, it is partly sexual, but that should make it that much more important to address. but i forget that we are a world raised to be uncomfortable with the human body & embarrassed by anything sexual. God forbid that we actually admit we need contact.
I'm stooped in the booth,
pounding quarters into the slot;
yellow light droops over the asphalt,
and your ghost, too cool
and elusive with those hands and mouth
sings around me in the smell of gasoline,
Whose mouth is this, scratched in static;
some droplet of a sigh, atomized,
and sputtering digitized into my room?
-M. Doughty
From a Gas Station Outside Providence
Ryc refers to us as Touch Creatures & i tend to think of that as a good description. we need touch, it helps us to survive. the trouble is that we need more than just the �socially acceptable� forms of contact. yes, sometimes a hug is all we need, but sometimes we need to feel another�s hands on our bare skin or a kiss on the nape of our neck. sometimes we need to be vulnerable with each other. let me give you two examples�
first, have you ever seen two close friends flirt?
not the, �i�m trying to get in your pants�, flirting� but two people who are comfortable with one another expressing their deep caring through flirting. watch how they act with one another. they smile & laugh & touch. the touch is the important part. they will hug gently but passionately. they will touch a cheek or an arm with soft confidence. they will lean into each other knowing that they will be supported.
now, how do they look?
if you look, you will see them as calm & at peace. the worry lines will fade, the laughter will be genuine, & the body will be relaxed. they will feel better than they have in days, months, or even years. through this simple act, they are healing one another. there is a sexual element to it, but more importantly, there is a spiritual & emotional element. they most likely don�t realize it, but they are helping one another to become calmer & more spiritual beings. there is a healing & rebirth that happens at times like these. there is an energy that gets exchanged that you cannot find in many other ways.
second example, ever had a full body massage from someone who really knew what they were doing?
the power of massage comes from the touch. you don�t need a massage to get rid of a sore back� a muscle relaxer, a heating pad, breathing techniques will all do the same thing. but touch helps more than just the sore muscle. there is a strong value to someone applying healing touch. when someone is given a massage, they get good physical contact, healing touch, human contact, &, most importantly, they feel valued� someone is going out of their way to care for them in a gentle & healing way. this can be a major boost to someone with self-esteem or body issues. to get through a massage & feel reborn is a great joy.
ever seen someone right after they have gotten a good massage? it is the same look that they get right after good sex or a good cleansing cry or a good nights sleep. the cool part is, it covers all three of those things. tantric yoga taps directly into this power. taking the sexual energy & refocusing it toward healing & cleansing. it is a powerful force that can do wonders to center & heal a person.
now, i understand that some people have issues with certain kinds of touch. those who have been abused or hurt are often very hesitant to let others touch them. this is completely understandable. if you have been hurt by someone�s touch you will be afraid of being hurt again & very reluctant to let your guard down. but just as touch can hurt, it can also heal. it is all in the context. just as there is a movement to reclaim words to take the insult & hurt out of them (read the book Cunt for a great example of this) so too should we reclaim touch & turn it back into something good. this is not something that can happen overnight, but something that is well worth the effort to do.
where am i going with all of this?
i don�t really know. just wondering why touch, the most simple & basic of human acts, needs to be something in such short supply. this is a basic need. why should it be so hard to find?
i don�t know. just talking here� don�t mind me.
looking forward to a quiet night tonight. thinking of heading to the coffeehouse & perhaps doing some small watercolor paintings or drawings while hiding in the back. feeling a need to create some small art tonight.
hope you all have a good evening.
more later.
be well.
And if I were like lightning
I wouldn't need no sneakers
I'd come and go wherever I would please
And I'd scare 'em by the shade tree
And I'd scare 'em by the light pole
But I would not scare my pony on my boat out on the sea
-Lyle Lovett
You are the protector. The leader of the pack, and
would sacrifice short of nothing to protect
those around you...and even perhaps, sacrifice
for those you like not at all. You're kind is
scarce, and though you may be noble, there is
also a vain part to you too. Try to overcome
that, for only then will achieve full peace,
prosperity, and respect.
What Kind of Person Are You?
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