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As long as the world keeps turning and spinning, we�re gonna be dizzy, and we�re gonna make mistakes. i�m back. (yeah, don�t sound so happy) took a few days to shake the crap in my head loose. It�s been a rough time for me lately & i�m doing what i can to make things better. change of seasons & it feels like my life is undergoing changes to match the leaves. i can feel myself becoming hues of red & orange as i slowly turn to catch the last warm rays of sun. i have never been good with change & the transition of summer into fall reminds me of this. they are predicting frost tonight & i will guard against the cold in my bones� drink more coffee & smoke just so i can taste warmth. sometimes i stand in the shower just soaking in the hot water, as if i were charging a battery. i an starting to release a lot of the pressure inside me, but there is so much to go. i find that, even at my age, there are lessons that need to be undone & so much still to learn. i forget just how flawed i am sometimes & am surprised when something goes awry. i need to learn to release� accept my mistakes for what they are & move on. i know that there are good things coming, but i am impatient sometimes & let myself get frustrated. i know that there is movement, even if i can�t see motion right now. i do believe & i will repeat it like a quiet mantra until the words become part of me. despite what you may think, i am doing ok. i think i needed to stumble just to remind me that i am going somewhere after all. right now i think that somewhere is to go pick up my son & head home to make dinner. later, i will head to WAG for the worcester youth poetry slam. perhaps i�ll go for coffee after or just take a drive. hope you all have a good night. be well. |
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