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2003-10-03 - 3:49 p.m. -

An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.
- Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

ok, lets talk about feminism.
the topic has come up in my life & i find myself taking stock of my views again.

life is a learning process & one of the areas where i feel i have the most to learn is in the area of feminism. in my more generous moments i like to think i�m a pretty liberal guy. but the reality is that i was born male & no matter how much i read, listen, evolve, & change i will still never fully comprehend what it is like for woman in society.

in many ways i think men like me are a bigger threat to feminism than the Archie Bunker type guy who still has his views stuck in the 50s. at least with a guy like that you know right where you stand & what to expect. (better the evil you know�) with someone like me, you never know when that �male mindset� is going to pop up & cause roadblocks. how much harder is it to try to teach something to someone who thinks that they know it already? but this can often be the case with so-called liberal men.

on the flip side of this is the realization that views can change & that some level of understanding can be achieved so long as people are willing to listen & learn. my views have changed over the years & will continue to change as long as i�m willing to admit that i don�t know it all. (sometimes i even manage to do this) the paradox of life is that the more you know the more you realize just how much you still don�t know. i have been blessed with people who were willing to take the time to talk to me & try to reshape my views on things like this. any positive change within me has less to do with me & much more to do with the effort others have shown toward teaching me.

but back to feminism�
i think one of the hardest things i had to wrap my head around was the concept of institutional sexism & privilege. the realization that there is an inborn privilege that come simply from being born male, & the understanding of just how prevalent it is in society. when i walk down the street, & i see a woman walking toward me, i don�t feel the need to decide if she is a threat to me or feel the urge to cross the street or reach for my mace. but the woman walking toward me does feel those things & my freedom from those feelings is a privilege. as long as women need to view the world in this way there is no equality.

this is just one of countless things that keep the playing field from being level. it is 2003 & yet woman still get paid less than men for doing the same job, are still underrepresented in positions of power, still get the short end of the stick most of the time when it comes to health care, justice, civil rights, employment, politics, arts, safety, etc, etc. we have not come a long way & stop calling her baby.

the big issue for me is how to change my understanding & act in a way that promotes equality rather than simply being another guy who �just doesn�t get it.� i don�t have the answer to that. i try & sometimes it works, but more often than not i find myself playing catch-up rather than being ahead of the ball. i would like to be able to see the problems before they become problems, but i still have a lot of learning before i get to that point. i am not an easy learner, but perhaps my son will �get it� & grow up to be the kind of man i wish i was.

time to call it a day. i�ll try to post something this weekend. hope you all have a good evening.

be well.

"It�s important to remember that feminism is no longer a group of organizations or leaders. It�s the expectations that parents have for their daughters, and their sons, too. It�s the way we talk about and treat one another. It�s who makes the money and who makes the compromises and who makes the dinner. It�s a state of mind. It�s the way we live now."
- Anna Quindlen