�

2002-12-31 - 1:35 p.m. -




last day of the year & i�m glad its over. despite the high points, this year has kicked my ass. this has been one of the roughest phases of my life & i would not have made it through without this outlet. this diary has been a pressure valve for me. it gave me a chance to put down in words just how i was feeling &, by doing so, a chance to really look at myself. sometimes the best way to understand something is to explain it to someone else. this was my place to do that.

i described my online diary to someone as an electronic version of throwing a message in a bottle into the sea. the difference being that sometimes i get a message back. so today�s entry is my year-end thank you to those of you who, like me, toss bottles into the sea. thank you to�

mixup� my best friend, my truth detector, & my mirror. he shows me who i am & reminds me of why i do what i do. he is a great teacher & a wonderful cheerleader. (& he shares my passion for sharp, pointy things)

gary� for being one of the coolest people i know. he is refreshing & lively (sounds like a new kind of soda) & he brings a passion to life that inspires me. he also pushes me to paint & that is a good thing.

silent one� for being just who she is & rising above. for being a loving person with a smile that could melt the ice caps.

bex� for all the things i can never thank you enough for. i don�t have the words to tell you just how important you are.

kae� for being just as crazy as i am & for listening when no one else would. you never judged me & that is a blessing.

kyria, lia & april� for letting me keep up with you even if we rarely talk or see each other.

corrina� for being who you are without apologies. i am a better person for knowing you.

jesse� for being jesse. (stay away from parking lots)

SJOMEDIA, john, andrew, wammo, etc� & all the others i read on a regular basis. it is nice having a family (even if it is online)

& last but not least�
agitated� you have given me a new view on so much & have inspired me to be much more open & honest. you are who you are & make no excuses for it� & that is a rare & wonderful thing. may the new year bring you joy & happiness. may you find peace.

& all of you who take the time to read my ramblings. thank you for picking the bottle up off the sand & reading my notes. just knowing that you are there helps.

this is entry 201 for me & over the past entries i have subjected you to way too many of the online quizzes i have taken. so, as payback, below is my low tech, silly but silly, online questionnaire. you can post the results on your diary, or send them to me, or just amuse yourself for a few minutes� whatever. hope you have fun with it. (it is at the bottom of this entry)

may the new year be kind to all of you.

peace & love,
-javabill
----------------- ------------------------
This Year�s Stats
Coffee Count: 3276 mugs
Cigarettes: 7280
Candy: 4lbs of M&Ms & 600 Smints
Now Playing: 1820 hours of music
-------------------- ----------------
�In the beginning was The Word�

------------- ----------
javabill�s silly online quiz

answer as many as you wish. feel free to post on your diary, or send it to me at [email protected] or just take it in your head & move on. whatever you feel like doing. have fun.

1. name:
2. age:
3. mental age:
4. three diaries you like:
5. your favorite quote from someone:
6. Simpsons or Schoolhouse Rock:
7. what book changed your life:
8. what is your favorite CD to have sex to:
9. name 3 movies i should rent:
10. paper or plastic:
11. are you a racist:
12. is Elvis alive:
13. what is your greatest fear:
14. name 3 people you would love to have dinner with:
15. what artist rocks your world:
16. do you like yourself:
17. James Brown or Little Richard:
18. what is your epitaph:
19. are you in love:
20. what will you be doing in 10 years:
21. what do you want someone to ask you:
22. most underrated band or musician:
23. anything else you want to say: